Confidence is a characteristic that everyone struggles with at one point, but can be achieved by trusting one’s abilities and speaking with others that are supportive. Mark Twain once said, “The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” Being comfortable in one’s own skin is the key to achievement and enjoyment in life, so start with some confidence. Self-confidence is not ingrained within individuals and can be influenced by a variety of factors. The personality style of an individual can determine whether the individual is an introvert or an extrovert which will affect self-confidence. Life experiences and situational factors have large impact on the stability of personalities and confidence. Self-efficacy and self-esteem are major factors that can contribute to a lack of self-confidence. Self-confidence is essential for effective and positive engagement in all professional and personal activities.

Self-confidence is about trusting your own judgment and feeling comfortable with your abilities and powers. It is the means to realize your full potential and be the person you want to be. Self-confidence allows you to feel secure in the world and allows others to feel safe that they know what to expect of you. It is made up of a variety of factors, including how you present yourself physically to the world and how you relate to other people. Sound self-confidence can bring benefits to all areas of your life, including relationships, career, social life and state of mind. Some people are self-confident in their work-life but not in their social life, we all differ. People feel comfortable with confident people as they are usually predictable and their behavior is reliable.

Self-confidence is also the belief that you can handle a certain situation correctly. Self-confidence is knowing that you don't lack any of the necessary skills in order to successfully complete a task. This task could vary from a social activity like being able to approach someone you don't know, to a professional activity like the ability to complete a certain task that your work or your business needs. Without confidence you will surely miss a lot of available opportunities because you will be afraid  to take the risk of trying something that you aren't sure you can handle

Why self-confidence is important?

It is important to the people to have their self-confidence. Self-confidence is not some sort of gift that you are born with. For many people, self-confidence may appear to have come naturally to them but it is more likely that they had confident role models in their life, from whom they learned the appropriate confidence building behaviors. These people will have imitated the behavior they saw from their role models and, they habitually do them now. By practicing these same actions, you’ll be taking giant strides to building your own self-confidence. The purpose of the present study was determine the tips of build up the self confidence level to help people back from pursuing their dreams for many years and they need to know how to overcome the fear of lack of self-confidence. It’s something we all face, to some degree, I think. The key question: how do you overcome that fear? 

You could be more confident through the total elimination of the dependency upon the opinion of others. This is because if you don't really have a solid knowledge of your abilities and of who you are then you will most likely be depending on others to tell you who you are. If they were satisfied with your actions then they may tell you that you are a good person; if not, they may label you with labels like fool, an idiot or anything else that suits their own faulty perception. You will of course welcome these labels and add them to your beliefs about yourself because you've left the decision to them from the beginning to tell you who you are.

Self-confidence is only an umbrella term for a lot of things. Emotional constraint, humor, empathy, resilience, string relationships, all go into creating the personality that exudes self-confidence. A self-confident person would know how to say things that are honest without hurting others sentiments. A self-confident man also knows how to be heard with dignity, when there is a difference of opinion. All this takes practice, but the most important thing is the belief that you can be better. This is the cornerstone for any improvement in the world.

What are the common sign that shows people have lack of self-confidence?

The following are some signs that show that you may be lacking self confidence. Anyone with above average experience will spot these signs and determine that you are lacking self confidence. Make sure that you are aware of them.

• Giving reasons for your actions

Suppose someone was having lunch with a group of people whom he doesn’t know very well and then he accidentally dropped his glass of coke on the floor. What will he do? Well, some people will immediately start to give reasons to explain what just happened by using comments like “oh, the glass was just at the edge of the table” or “oh, I am so tired today, that’s why I wasn’t concentrating”. Confident people don’t give reasons for their actions; if you dropped the glass or made a mistake then it doesn’t change who you are. It's your right to make mistakes because you are human and you don't have to find excuses for doing them.

• Immediately replying to criticism

I am sure that you have experienced a situation where upon saying a small critical comment to one of your friends, then he/she reply back immediately and aggressively. For example, if you told your friend something like “your performance wasn’t that good today” and he replied saying, “no no no, its just because I was tired” or “no I was just thinking of something else while working and that’s what why I was distracted”. This shows that he lacks self confidence. Confident people listen to criticism and see whether it's constructive or not. If it was constructive they accept it, if not, it doesn't bother them much. If you saw a body building champion and told him “hey, you look pretty weak”, what will he do? He will just smile and move away because he knows that he's a champion.

• Compensation

You looked really upset one day and when somebody told you that you reply by saying ”I never get upset and I never have problems”. What happened here? Is you a superman who is always happy. Of course not, you are just compensating for your lack of self confidence. Every one compensates in his own way. One person may become arrogant, another one may reply using the 'never' word just like in the previous example while others turn into perfectionists. Each one of us has his own weak points just like he has his points of strength. You don’t have to compensate for your weaknesses because no one is perfect. Some people think that the act of compensation can help them feel better but actually the subconscious mind is intelligent enough to recognize the trick and it will usually respond with depression. 

• Body Language

People who lack self confidence always take the defensive position (arms folded and may be accompanied by crossing their legs). Confident people rarely take this position unless they are offended or feeling cold so train yourself to forget about this position.

• Becoming a perfectionist

A perfectionist thinks that he lives in a perfect world so he tries to do everything perfectly too. The problem is that he may become upset if he got a 99/100 in an exam!!!! This happens because he thinks that unless he is perfect he may not become a worthy person. This results in disappointment all of the time since no one, including him, can ever be truly "perfect". Confident people are not perfectionists, they try to achieve success but not perfectionism. If they got a “B”, they may aim for an “A”; but if they got 99% they won't aim for a 100% .

Tips to build up the confidence level!!!!

One of the things that held people back from pursuing their dreams for many years was fear of failure … and the lack of self-confidence that they need to overcome that fear. It’s something we all face, to some degree, I think. The key question: how do you overcome that fear? 

"Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage and confidence in the doing" - Theodore Roosevelt

Here, there are few tips how to build up your confidence level. You try to apply this tips to boost up your confidences in front of other people.

1. Present yourself with confidence

If you are lounging around at home with your family or friends, it may be acceptable to dress down and be a little unkempt. These people know who you really are and your appearance is unlikely to have a huge bearing on their thoughts about you. However, how you feel about yourself is reflected in your appearance. When you know you look great, you feel great about yourself as well. That little bit of effort goes a long way and, as you notice the difference, you will bring this new approach into more areas of your life. 

2. Smile and look people in the eye

It sounds obvious to state that a smile will help you build affinity with others. It also sounds obvious to state that when you smile, you feel happier and more confident. Despite this, so many people do not smile.When you smile and make eye contact, it shows that you have a certain ease and warmth about you. This enables others to feel more at ease in your presence, thus improving the quality of your interactions. As you start to interact better with others, your self-confidence grows until communicating with ease becomes a natural process.

3. Give genuine compliments to others

When you take the time to compliment others, it demonstrates that you feel good enough about yourself to give positive feedback to others. Don’t mistake this approach for insincere flattery. The compliments should always be genuine and honest. At first, it may take a little time for you to find the positives in others that you would like to compliments but it becomes easier. By adopting the necessary mindset, not only will you find positives in others but you will start to see more positives in every area of your life. As you do so, you realize that your life is in better shape than you may have previously thought. As a result, your self-confidence grows.

4. Practice appreciation

However, we humans incredibly easy to find the negative in our lives. It is not always as easy to identify the positives, though they are there. When you appreciate the positives in your life, you don’t just identify the things that you like; you take a moment to focus on how your life is better because of them. Practice appreciation each day and you will eliminate negativity from your life. Your are not trying to develop delusions about how amazing and wonderful your life is; you just want to develop a more realistically optimistic view whereby you can identify and appreciate the positives in your life.

5. Play to your strengths

We can all do most things but what differs is the standard to which we can perform the task. Throughout your life, you will encounter tasks which you are not best suited to performing. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about; it’s the same for everybody. If you spend a lot of your time performing these tasks, you are likely to struggle and your self-confidence will be impacted. Instead, focus on doing whatever you’re best at. You will be better able to perform the task and your self-confidence will receive a boost with each task that you successfully complete. You’ll feel like an expert and know without a doubt that you excel in that area. Know your strengths and play to them. Seek work in an area which makes the most of your strengths, knowledge and skill set. Where possible delegate or outsource the tasks which do not suit your strengths.

 6. Accept your imperfections

Perfectionism is just a mechanism used to inflict pain upon yourself. Perfection is neither a possibility nor a necessity. Nobody has ever been perfect and nobody ever will be. Rather than seek to achieve perfection, you can always try to do your best. Then, you can learn from the experience and strive to do better next time around. This way, you will constantly improve without the stress inducing pressure of always trying to be perfect. Imperfections only show that you’re human – not that there is something wrong with you.

7. Be prepared

Practicing this motto isn’t only for Boy Scouts. Practice allows you to familiarize yourself with the challenge that lies ahead e.g. a presentation. This allows you to reduce the fear associated with stepping into the unknown. As you practice, you realize that you are capable of dealing with the challenge and your self-confidence grows. You’ve practiced in advance to perform whatever needs to be done. If you are really concerned about something going wrong, you can prepare for that too. Identify your worst fear e.g. you forget your speech. Then you can identify a solution e.g. have some notes on standby to jog your memory. You can then practice your presentation going wrong whereby you forget your words and, you can implement your solution. This will give you the self-confidence to believe that you can cope with whatever goes wrong.

8. Set effective goals and work to achieve them

When your life has direction and purpose, you know where you’re going and what you are trying to achieve. You then set goals which will help you to consistently work towards these objectives. As you achieve the goals, you can see the progress that you are making towards fulfilling your purpose. You are able to focus better and each day has meaning. With the accomplishment of each goal your self-confidence receives a little boost, as you see that you can achieve whatever you want from life.

9. Always do your best

No matter what kind of work you do, you can strive to do your best at it. When you know that you have given your very best to the task, you know that you could not have given anymore. This allows you to feel relaxed and more confident about your performance. When you always give your best, you also build a reputation with friends, family, colleagues and customers which enables you to receive positive, self-confidence building feedback.

10. Accept disapproval

No matter what you do in life, there will always be people who disapprove of you. You could bend over backwards to try and please these people but even if you succeed, it wouldn’t be you they are approving of; it would be the person you are pretending to be. When you value the approval of others too highly, you end up sacrificing your own goals, dreams and aspirations which is a form of self-rejection. This form of self-rejection has disastrous consequences for your self-confidence. When you give up the need for approval, you’ll be free of feeling compelled to put on airs and impress people. Instead, you’ll become more authentic and real with yourself. Prove to yourself instead of to others that you’re competent and confident and others will see it anyway. And if they don’t see it, they are rarely worth worrying about.

Building your self-confidence takes time, focus and effort. It is not a magic trick. While some people make it look easy and natural, their high self-confidence is a result of learned behaviors. You can also learn these behaviors and experience the many benefits of high self-confidence. With your new found confidence, you will be happier, healthier and more motivated to challenge yourself to be the best that you can be. Implement the strategies listed above will not cure all your problems but it will take your self-confidence to a whole new level. You will be wondering why you didn’t take action sooner. You owe it to yourself to develop your self-confidence. Why not select one of the strategies, listed above, and start working on it today. Your faith in yourself will grow with every small step you take. Start today and begin living as the person you long to be. 

In summary, building self-confidence takes time, focus and effort. It is not a magic trick. While some people make it look easy and natural, their high self-confidence is a result of learned behaviors. You can also learn these behaviors and experience the many benefits of high self-confidence. With your new found confidence, you will be happier, healthier and more motivated to challenge yourself to be the best that you can be. Implement the strategies listed above will not cure all your problems but it will take your self-confidence to a whole new level. You will be wondering why you didn’t take action sooner. You owe it to yourself to develop your self-confidence. Why not select one of the strategies, listed above, and start working on it today. Your faith in yourself will grow with every small step you take. Start today and begin living as the person you long to be. While the focus of this course is on improving self-image through positive thinking, having a more positive attitude can make you open to a world of physical changes. In addition to changing your way of thinking, you can also change your behaviors and abilities by learning new skills. But the bottom line is, you play a huge part in your happiness, and you can greatly increase it by taking action and changing your attitude toward yourself. You are responsible for yourself. Your happiness (or your misery) depend in a great part upon what you tell yourself, how you treat yourself, and how you interpret your world. Believe in yourself and believe that you are capable of handling life's problems.

How to develop Self-Confidence

How successful people think